








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1220 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 783 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,226 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Jürs | 48% | 157 |
| #2 | bob872368 | 48% | 126 |
| #3 | ortieez | 47% | 96 |
| #4 | Floppytheflapy | 42% | 187 |
| #5 | bectram | 25% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Jürs | 48% | 157 |
| #2 | bob872368 | 48% | 126 |
| #3 | ortieez | 47% | 96 |
| #4 | Floppytheflapy | 42% | 187 |
| #5 | bectram | 25% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floppytheflapy | 23 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ortieez | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | bectram | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | bob872368 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Captain Jürs | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floppytheflapy | 717 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | bob872368 | 508 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | Captain Jürs | 332 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | ortieez | 44 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | bectram | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob872368 | +3.08 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | Floppytheflapy | +1.45 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | ortieez | +1.34 | 52 | 42 |
| #4 | bectram | +0.26 | 60 | 38 |
| #5 | Captain Jürs | +0.22 | 52 | 53 |





