








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1179 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,688 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | yamnii | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | Two-Six | 47% | 77 |
| #9 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | Grimlock [M] | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | og bobby johnson | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raijin Sama | 18 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | Two-Six | 15 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | s i d o | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | rem | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Two-Six | 280 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | s i d o | 236 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Raijin Sama | 193 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | 1.4% sub-saharan african | 143 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Matt [M] | 86 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s i d o | +1.92 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | Raijin Sama | +1.01 | 94 | 57 |
| #3 | DLUX | +0.66 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | Grimlock [M] | +0.34 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | yamnii | -0.07 | 86 | 29 |





