








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 919 | 22% |
| Smokes | 980 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1276 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1010 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,547 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | SyneX | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | Hampen | 38% | 16 |
| #15 | knivstikker | 33% | 9 |
| #16 | d0gfromsky | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holl3r | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Nørskov | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Molleon | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Thomcifer | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Mr. Bazz | 3 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holl3r | 261 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Molleon | 231 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ Enzu | 181 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | bong0 | 99 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hydso (the better purple) | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0gfromsky | +3.39 | 68 | 77 |
| #2 | Molleon | +2.70 | 80 | 76 |
| #3 | ✪ Enzu | +1.77 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | Nørskov | +1.43 | 55 | 60 |
| #5 | Holl3r | +0.47 | 68 | 84 |





