








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 393 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 156 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4895 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4643 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5162 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4230 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,128 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 811 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Molleon | 54% | 207 |
| #2 | bong0 | 54% | 99 |
| #3 | TeakiX | 53% | 79 |
| #4 | ✪ Enzu | 51% | 397 |
| #5 | Holl3r | 49% | 369 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bong0 | 54% | 99 |
| #3 | TeakiX | 53% | 79 |
| #4 | ✪ Enzu | 51% | 397 |
| #5 | Holl3r | 49% | 369 |
| #6 | Thomcifer | 48% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomcifer | 28 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ✪ Enzu | 26 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Holl3r | 20 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Molleon | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | bong0 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holl3r | 943 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | Molleon | 911 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #3 | ✪ Enzu | 747 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #4 | Thomcifer | 695 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #5 | bong0 | 320 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Molleon | +1.93 | 77 | 73 |
| #2 | ✪ Enzu | +1.62 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | bong0 | -0.15 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | Holl3r | -0.26 | 66 | 81 |
| #5 | Thomcifer | -0.56 | 60 | 69 |





