








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 565 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5251 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3540 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3158 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3335 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $516,627 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Enzu | 55% | 231 |
| #2 | Hydso (the better purple) | 54% | 207 |
| #3 | Thomcifer | 54% | 160 |
| #4 | bong0 | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Holl3r | 51% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hydso (the better purple) | 54% | 207 |
| #3 | Thomcifer | 54% | 160 |
| #4 | bong0 | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Holl3r | 51% | 189 |
| #6 | TeakiX | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Enzu | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Holl3r | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Thomcifer | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Hydso (the better purple) | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | TeakiX | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Holl3r | 521 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | ✪ Enzu | 448 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Thomcifer | 359 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Hydso (the better purple) | 227 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | bong0 | 162 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Molleon | +1.78 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | ✪ Enzu | +1.62 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | Holl3r | -0.54 | 63 | 80 |
| #4 | Hydso (the better purple) | -0.89 | 46 | 61 |
| #5 | bong0 | -0.91 | 55 | 64 |





