








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2175 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1809 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,129 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Untitled | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | JOOKiE | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | 塔哈 | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | eli | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Voldemort Gaming | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Voldemort Gaming | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | RageAgainstThePC | 40% | 20 |
| #7 | remokox | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | RoxySupremacy | 33% | 18 |
| #9 | Melv1n | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 塔哈 | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Untitled | 5 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | RoxySupremacy | 5 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | RageAgainstThePC | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | JOOKiE | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 塔哈 | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | JOOKiE | 67 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Untitled | 61 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Melv1n | 55 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Voldemort Gaming | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eli | +1.79 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | 塔哈 | +1.00 | 65 | 51 |
| #3 | Frezmo | +0.14 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | RageAgainstThePC | -0.01 | 64 | 50 |
| #5 | JOOKiE | -0.64 | 72 | 72 |





