










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1311 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1263 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,642 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Melv1n | 54% | 13 |
| #9 | eli | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | RageAgainstThePC | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | Frezmo | 46% | 26 |
| #12 | remokox | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RageAgainstThePC | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Woutahh | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | overwerk# | 2 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | Frezmo | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woutahh | 62 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #2 | Frezmo | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Melv1n | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | overwerk# | 28 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | JustGary | 28 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AptiC | +5.32 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | Goblin Nostra | +3.68 | 91 | 69 |
| #3 | eli | +1.71 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | JOOKiE | +1.66 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | Woutahh | +1.49 | 75 | 57 |





