








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 822 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3851 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3032 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1756 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2292 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,195 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Shex | 44% | 94 |
| #13 | BotS | 37% | 35 |
| #14 | Shredda | 37% | 35 |
| #15 | Losy_Golab | 35% | 48 |
| #16 | Ann4gy | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChewVACca | 782 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #2 | andL ✌ | 561 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | P-Kone | 248 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪︎ Feelings4You | 232 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | FOGAちー! | 183 | 0.11 | 5 min |





