








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 384 matches | ||
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




180 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17554 | 33% |
| Smokes | 11033 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 14262 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 10034 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,512,791 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2045 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bomber | 72% | 148 |
| #2 | ✪︎ Feelings4You | 61% | 723 |
| #3 | FOGAちー! | 60% | 157 |
| #4 | P-Kone | 60% | 599 |
| #5 | DOPE | 59% | 777 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Losy_Golab | 51% | 133 |
| #10 | EclAiS | 50% | 153 |
| #11 | Shex | 49% | 163 |
| #12 | sonniibee | 48% | 184 |
| #13 | Shredda | 46% | 90 |





