








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 173 | 38% |
| Smokes | 104 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 102 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 72 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,271 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (●>ω<●)face | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | yJ | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | /^ A p k $/g | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | ᴬⁿᵖᵃⁿᵐᵃⁿ😘 | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | ga | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | /^ A p k $/g | 31 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | ga | 24 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | ᴬⁿᵖᵃⁿᵐᵃⁿ😘 | 20 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | yJ | 12 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ch1naTownBoy | 11 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yJ | +3.85 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | (●>ω<●)face | +3.81 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | gad | +3.40 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | Jam | +2.78 | 80 | 75 |
| #5 | ᴬⁿᵖᵃⁿᵐᵃⁿ😘 | +1.96 | 72 | 53 |





