








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3986 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3202 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1362 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,358 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴬⁿᵖᵃⁿᵐᵃⁿ😘 | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | ga | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | (●>ω<●)face | 58% | 62 |
| #4 | yJ | 57% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴬⁿᵖᵃⁿᵐᵃⁿ😘 | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | ga | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | (●>ω<●)face | 58% | 62 |
| #4 | yJ | 57% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yJ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | (●>ω<●)face | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ga | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (●>ω<●)face | 222 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | yJ | 171 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | ga | 114 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ᴬⁿᵖᵃⁿᵐᵃⁿ😘 | 63 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ga | +1.63 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | (●>ω<●)face | +1.59 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | yJ | +1.38 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | ᴬⁿᵖᵃⁿᵐᵃⁿ😘 | +0.74 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | /^ A p k $/g | -0.22 | 57 | 74 |





