










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
508 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20 | 4% |
| Smokes | 39 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 330 | 71% |
| Molotovs | 79 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $15,900 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xtracoolguy137 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | yetiman1 | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | U10D | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | poopsack | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Ye West | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | U10D | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | poopsack | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Ye West | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | Chieftan Chuftan | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | xbox controller | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | 4 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | U10D | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | xbox controller | 1 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | xtracoolguy137 | 1 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | U10D | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ye West | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | xtracoolguy137 | 9 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Chieftan Chuftan | 5 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smol red chonk | +3.00 | 88 | 26 |
| #2 | Ye West | +2.08 | 74 | 53 |
| #3 | poopsack | +1.69 | 84 | 51 |
| #4 | yetiman1 | +1.39 | 58 | 44 |
| #5 | U10D | -1.28 | 67 | 51 |





