








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 891 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6757 | 34% |
| Smokes | 6727 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3130 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3477 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,157,776 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1095 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | 57% | 354 |
| #2 | xbox controller | 55% | 161 |
| #3 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | 52% | 120 |
| #4 | U10D | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | 57% | 354 |
| #2 | xbox controller | 55% | 161 |
| #3 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | 52% | 120 |
| #4 | U10D | 46% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xbox controller | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | poopsack | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | U10D | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | 1154 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #2 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | 331 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | xbox controller | 272 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | U10D | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | +3.03 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | Ye West | +0.30 | 69 | 56 |
| #3 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | -1.67 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | xbox controller | -1.79 | 55 | 41 |
| #5 | U10D | -2.21 | 62 | 46 |





