








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 812 | 29% |
| Smokes | 59 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 1222 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 671 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,873 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 416 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walls | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | smol red chonk | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | yetiman1 | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | xbox controller | 54% | 59 |
| #5 | poopsack | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | yetiman1 | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | xbox controller | 54% | 59 |
| #5 | poopsack | 51% | 134 |
| #6 | Ye West | 46% | 57 |
| #7 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | 17 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | xbox controller | 13 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | walls | 4 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | Ye West | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poopsack | 409 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ye West | 160 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | xbox controller | 101 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nukelear_TnT (No Internet) | 54 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | walls | 27 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walls | +3.65 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | poopsack | +2.72 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | smol red chonk | +1.93 | 91 | 28 |
| #4 | yetiman1 | +0.41 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | Ye West | -0.06 | 68 | 51 |





