








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1560 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1782 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1095 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,100 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BAZINGAAA | 47% | 43 |
| #10 | SALT DISTRIBUTOR | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | Techies rework was a mistake | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | duc1eee_Ti | 43% | 35 |
| #13 | MakiattoSihaya | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuaLiTi06 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | MakiattoSihaya | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | nom | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Techies rework was a mistake | 2 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | 786 | 0.31 | 23 min |
| #2 | QuaLiTi06 | 477 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #3 | Fokker _(:3 」∠ )_ | 190 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | duc1eee_Ti | 157 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | nom | 122 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ hitiMONSTER | +2.63 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | SALT DISTRIBUTOR | +0.97 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | QuaLiTi06 | +0.88 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | nom | +0.68 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | ASAKIM hellcase.com | +0.43 | 75 | 57 |





