








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 923 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1117 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1479 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1218 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,483 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aesop | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | ム | 68% | 34 |
| #3 | gerzy | 62% | 60 |
| #4 | b m u R | 60% | 60 |
| #5 | Klani | 57% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ム | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | gerzy | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Aesop | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Klani | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | b m u R | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klani | 453 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | gerzy | 252 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | ム | 113 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | b m u R | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aesop | 81 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ム | +3.85 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Pointer | +2.89 | 57 | 67 |
| #3 | H7per | +2.55 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | gerzy | +1.80 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | iXoN | +0.83 | 70 | 50 |





