








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,522 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 895 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1630 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2018 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1979 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,252,354 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G H O S T | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Starlene | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Owned | 45% | 126 |
| #4 | M I L E Y | 45% | 186 |
| #5 | Impulse♥ | 44% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Starlene | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Owned | 45% | 126 |
| #4 | M I L E Y | 45% | 186 |
| #5 | Impulse♥ | 44% | 161 |
| #6 | gin | 42% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impulse♥ | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | M I L E Y | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Owned | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | gin | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | G H O S T | 3 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gin | 696 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | Owned | 428 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | M I L E Y | 316 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Impulse♥ | 135 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Starlene | 93 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L E Y | +0.79 | 64 | 69 |
| #2 | gin | +0.72 | 65 | 77 |
| #3 | Starlene | +0.24 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | Impulse♥ | -0.02 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | Owned | -0.80 | 41 | 76 |





