








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1566 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1082 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 375 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 908 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,242 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knocko | 48% | 83 |
| #2 | ✪ KiWi | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | elreese | 41% | 34 |
| #4 | jadedingle | 33% | 24 |
| #5 | gaba | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jadedingle | 33% | 24 |
| #5 | gaba | 32% | 31 |
| #6 | darkAD | 32% | 41 |
| #7 | csr | 31% | 42 |
| #8 | enjoi | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darkAD | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | elreese | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | gaba | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | enjoi | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ✪ KiWi | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darkAD | 148 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | csr | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ KiWi | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Knocko | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | enjoi | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheVicBro | +0.19 | 68 | 50 |
| #2 | ✪ KiWi | -0.34 | 58 | 57 |
| #3 | Knocko | -0.60 | 77 | 29 |
| #4 | csr | -0.68 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | enjoi | -1.16 | 63 | 54 |





