








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 535 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3123 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3897 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3289 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3161 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,489,852 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sumner | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | JostQQ >⌓<。 | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | real Donald Trump | 50% | 171 |
| #4 | Mikar | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | ✪ KiWi | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ KiWi | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | darkAD | 41% | 74 |
| #7 | csr | 35% | 48 |
| #8 | gaba | 33% | 27 |
| #9 | TheVicBro | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | real Donald Trump | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | JostQQ >⌓<。 | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | darkAD | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | gaba | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Sumner | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darkAD | 211 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | real Donald Trump | 155 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪ KiWi | 138 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mikar | 136 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | csr | 98 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikar | +2.59 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | Sumner | +2.08 | 61 | 57 |
| #3 | enjoi | +1.61 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | JostQQ >⌓<。 | +1.24 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | gaba | -0.18 | 82 | 61 |





