








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1368 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1081 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 967 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,223 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaccini | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | bröd | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | -Tode- | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | -vahe モティゼ ロ | 56% | 52 |
| #5 | Antsu♕ | 54% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novoisaatana | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Hedari | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Jayvola | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | jere | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Antsu♕ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Tode- | +4.80 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | jere | +4.20 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | bröd | +3.99 | 85 | 50 |
| #4 | -vahe モティゼ ロ | +3.73 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | Vahe | +2.78 | 83 | 64 |





