








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2966 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3768 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3570 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3962 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,480 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vahe | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | Memoria | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | -Tode- | 63% | 43 |
| #4 | Lamppi | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | bröd | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Kaccini | 53% | 75 |
| #14 | Neophyte | 53% | 75 |
| #15 | Hedari | 52% | 141 |
| #16 | MemoryLeak | 51% | 35 |
| #17 | Jayvola | 47% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayvola | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | -vahe モティゼ ロ | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | jere | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Hedari | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Neophyte | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Missing Link™ | +3.77 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | jere | +3.41 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Vahe | +2.98 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | -vahe モティゼ ロ | +2.03 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | bröd | +1.88 | 75 | 52 |





