








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2781 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2276 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2547 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2447 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,712 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khimera | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | bröd | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | Kaccini | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | Bot Broho | 61% | 84 |
| #5 | Novoisaatana | 57% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antsu♕ | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | jere | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Novoisaatana | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Neophyte | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Jayvola | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayvola | 478 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | Novoisaatana | 410 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Hedari | 328 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Antsu♕ | 306 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Neophyte | 212 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jere | +3.49 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | -vahe モティゼ ロ | +2.06 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | bröd | +1.80 | 73 | 37 |
| #4 | Kaccini | +1.07 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | Khimera | +0.79 | 44 | 68 |





