








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1817 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1495 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1627 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,052,482 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KissenKarl | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | aLx | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | JSonderchild | 50% | 194 |
| #4 | Vochl | 48% | 149 |
| #5 | jzN | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | aLx | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | JSonderchild | 50% | 194 |
| #4 | Vochl | 48% | 149 |
| #5 | jzN | 45% | 56 |
| #6 | chA1nzz | 43% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSonderchild | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Vochl | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | chA1nzz | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | KissenKarl | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | jzN | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vochl | 533 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | chA1nzz | 405 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | JSonderchild | 352 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | aLx | 159 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #5 | KissenKarl | 133 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzN | +2.28 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | JSonderchild | +1.70 | 90 | 67 |
| #3 | aLx | +1.65 | 70 | 79 |
| #4 | KissenKarl | +1.23 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | SADm | -0.45 | 77 | 58 |





