








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 10% |
| Smokes | 503 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 757 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 894 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,128 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bog Roll | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Genghis | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | clapper. | 51% | 86 |
| #4 | NANO | 50% | 90 |
| #5 | Luc | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | clapper. | 51% | 86 |
| #4 | NANO | 50% | 90 |
| #5 | Luc | 41% | 29 |
| #6 | BLYATMAN | 39% | 18 |
| #7 | faillingmoose | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clapper. | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | NANO | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | faillingmoose | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Bog Roll | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | BLYATMAN | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NANO | 298 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | clapper. | 106 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Genghis | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | faillingmoose | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bog Roll | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Genghis | +6.35 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | Crust_X | +3.42 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | clapper. | +1.40 | 71 | 39 |
| #4 | faillingmoose | -0.79 | 55 | 35 |
| #5 | Luc | -1.07 | 50 | 40 |





