








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7540 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5379 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5993 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4894 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,321 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 954 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geek | 60% | 151 |
| #2 | Straight_Savage | 56% | 391 |
| #3 | xLightningFire | 50% | 232 |
| #4 | gobL1n | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Cain? | 49% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | xLightningFire | 50% | 232 |
| #4 | gobL1n | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Cain? | 49% | 212 |
| #6 | Rage | 47% | 53 |
| #7 | rd | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straight_Savage | 50 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | geek | 27 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | xLightningFire | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Cain? | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | gobL1n | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straight_Savage | 533 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Cain? | 444 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | geek | 129 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | gobL1n | 127 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | xLightningFire | 100 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straight_Savage | +3.27 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | geek | +1.15 | 69 | 50 |
| #3 | Cain? | +0.74 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Rage | +0.60 | 73 | 47 |
| #5 | xLightningFire | +0.36 | 63 | 66 |





