








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9617 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6762 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8021 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5991 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,288 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trix | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | Straight_Savage | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | ShadowMax | 55% | 49 |
| #4 | NATE™ | 55% | 62 |
| #5 | DURP | 54% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | geek | 50% | 48 |
| #7 | Yappy Dawg Jimmy Time | 49% | 93 |
| #8 | kiefprincess Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | Haze | 42% | 59 |
| #10 | Rage | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straight_Savage | 18 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | geek | 15 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | Yappy Dawg Jimmy Time | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | DURP | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Rage | 7 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DURP | 827 | 0.28 | 22 min |
| #2 | Yappy Dawg Jimmy Time | 298 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | ShadowMax | 170 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Straight_Savage | 152 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | NATE™ | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Straight_Savage | +4.06 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | DURP | +2.73 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | NATE™ | +1.41 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | geek | +0.39 | 68 | 50 |
| #5 | gobL1n | -0.13 | 44 | 64 |





