








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 509 | 30% |
| Smokes | 508 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 338 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 367 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,779 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | squarepants38 | 63% | 16 |
| #6 | ue | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | Imagine | 58% | 24 |
| #8 | ScorpiaN. | 55% | 11 |
| #9 | lotox | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lotox | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | squarepants38 | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ScorpiaN. | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ryeuu | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine | 76 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | lotox | 70 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | squarepants38 | 52 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | ue | 49 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | 23:59 | 19 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 23:59 | +3.68 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | squarepants38 | +3.34 | 93 | 48 |
| #3 | NooB | +0.77 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | ScorpiaN. | +0.52 | 87 | 54 |
| #5 | Imagine | -0.07 | 79 | 64 |





