








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3388 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3206 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3067 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2064 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,768 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryeuu | 65% | 54 |
| #2 | squarepants38 | 61% | 132 |
| #3 | aWshit | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | Imagine | 53% | 242 |
| #5 | lotox | 53% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | aWshit | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | Imagine | 53% | 242 |
| #5 | lotox | 53% | 155 |
| #6 | ScorpiaN. | 53% | 104 |
| #7 | Sleep | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squarepants38 | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Imagine | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | lotox | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ryeuu | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | aWshit | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine | 831 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | lotox | 641 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | squarepants38 | 449 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | ScorpiaN. | 166 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | ryeuu | 162 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squarepants38 | +1.83 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | ScorpiaN. | +0.93 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | ue | +0.54 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | lotox | -0.04 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | ryeuu | -0.30 | 66 | 54 |





