








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1677 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1962 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1104 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,256 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luial | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | squarepants38 | 62% | 125 |
| #3 | 0taps | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Sleep | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | ryeuu | 54% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ryeuu | 54% | 84 |
| #6 | ue | 53% | 104 |
| #7 | lotox | 51% | 192 |
| #8 | So Click 2015 420 hits | 46% | 28 |
| #9 | Imagine | 46% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squarepants38 | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | lotox | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ryeuu | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ue | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Imagine | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lotox | 828 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | squarepants38 | 402 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Imagine | 401 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | ue | 375 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | ryeuu | 246 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | squarepants38 | +2.44 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | So Click 2015 420 hits | +1.25 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | ScorpiaN. | +1.19 | 86 | 59 |
| #4 | 0taps | +0.74 | 67 | 40 |
| #5 | ue | -0.06 | 68 | 63 |





