








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4054 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3538 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1952 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3051 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,735 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sava9e | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | device | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | lyss | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | BeaKie | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 57% | 21 |
| #6 | DaFlareon | 54% | 28 |
| #7 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 52% | 25 |
| #8 | Royal | 52% | 29 |
| #9 | Melodic Black | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaKie | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | device | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | DaFlareon | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaKie | 231 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sava9e | 120 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 119 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | device | 114 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Melodic Black | 87 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaKie | +6.15 | 72 | 89 |
| #2 | Royal | +3.84 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | Sava9e | +3.06 | 68 | 82 |
| #4 | DaFlareon | +2.26 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | device | +1.16 | 85 | 55 |





