








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 940 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2426 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2760 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2694 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2654 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,225 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 526 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | methwater | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | piepiepoppin | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Osal | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | CJ | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | aeon.jelain | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osal | 237 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Thriller | 201 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | piepiepoppin | 173 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #4 | CJ | 127 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #5 | methwater | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |





