








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 465 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2434 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3501 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3089 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3938 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,801,671 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garbo | 56% | 99 |
| #2 | Chrisper | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | Cow | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | Gamer Craig | 50% | 200 |
| #5 | tangle | 48% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nugget | 45% | 154 |
| #9 | lach | 45% | 251 |
| #10 | brown | 45% | 219 |
| #11 | Kane McCrum | 44% | 79 |
| #12 | chopstixZ | 42% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer Craig | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | lach | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Nugget | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Limey Bones Jones | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Kane McCrum | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer Craig | 746 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | brown | 390 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | tangle | 343 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | lach | 257 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Nugget | 231 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kush krazy | +7.73 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | tangle | +1.61 | 59 | 67 |
| #3 | lach | +1.38 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | Chrisper | +0.54 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | chopstixZ | +0.36 | 50 | 49 |





