








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 663 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4152 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7518 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 8547 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3243 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,271 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | brown | 48% | 395 |
| #9 | chopstixZ | 47% | 163 |
| #10 | waterhouse gamer | 45% | 154 |
| #11 | Nice Chris | 42% | 97 |
| #12 | Moshi Monster | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brown | 20 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | lach | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Gamer Craig | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | tangle | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Kane McCrum | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tangle | 800 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Gamer Craig | 642 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | brown | 617 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #4 | lach | 503 | 0.05 | 17 min |
| #5 | waterhouse gamer | 280 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lach | +1.39 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | tangle | +1.38 | 54 | 61 |
| #3 | Moshi Monster | +0.35 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Nugget | +0.33 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | chopstixZ | -0.30 | 47 | 50 |





