








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 854 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 905 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,367 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4094 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8277 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 9563 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3433 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,914,196 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glock johnson | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Kane McCrum | 51% | 208 |
| #3 | garbo | 50% | 106 |
| #4 | kush krazy | 50% | 123 |
| #5 | Nugget | 48% | 462 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | brown | 46% | 643 |
| #11 | waterhouse gamer | 45% | 251 |
| #12 | Moshi Monster | 45% | 96 |
| #13 | Gamer Craig | 44% | 367 |
| #14 | chopstixZ | 43% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brown | 29 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Nugget | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Kane McCrum | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Nice Chris | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Gamer Craig | 9 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer Craig | 1436 | 0.19 | 39 min |
| #2 | tangle | 1116 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #3 | brown | 1033 | 0.08 | 30 min |
| #4 | Nugget | 707 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #5 | waterhouse gamer | 523 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glock johnson | +5.47 | 73 | 49 |
| #2 | kush krazy | +4.62 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | tangle | +1.46 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | lach | +1.20 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Nugget | -0.02 | 64 | 49 |





