








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1470 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2210 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1005 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1080 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,133 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skippy Pancakes | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | d | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | PitbullFan69 | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | dwubsly | 50% | 151 |
| #5 | C Z | 50% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | d | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | PitbullFan69 | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | dwubsly | 50% | 151 |
| #5 | C Z | 50% | 86 |
| #6 | Cant put down the cup | 49% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Cant put down the cup | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | d | 4 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | C Z | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Skippy Pancakes | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dwubsly | 424 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | d | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | C Z | 28 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | PitbullFan69 | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Skippy Pancakes | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d | +2.55 | 62 | 59 |
| #2 | dwubsly | +1.39 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | Cant put down the cup | +0.77 | 69 | 30 |
| #4 | Bell | +0.17 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | C Z | -0.05 | 67 | 45 |





