








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2414 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3759 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2472 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2343 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,421 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiger | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Roy💮 | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | Galaxy | 48% | 231 |
| #4 | NorsemaN | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | Caleb | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Galaxy | 48% | 231 |
| #4 | NorsemaN | 48% | 50 |
| #5 | Caleb | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | shmaab | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Marcus Halberstram | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Galaxy | 65 | 0.0133 |
| #2 | Tiger | 11 | 0.0268 |
| #3 | Caleb | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Roy💮 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | NorsemaN | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Galaxy | 265 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tiger | 106 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | Marcus Halberstram | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | NorsemaN | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Caleb | 74 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tiger | +2.94 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | Caleb | +2.15 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | NorsemaN | +1.45 | 80 | 51 |
| #4 | Csb2015 | +1.11 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | Roy💮 | +1.09 | 59 | 44 |





