








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 746 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2007 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5564 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3378 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3422 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,576,784 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devil Cat | 56% | 85 |
| #2 | Keth | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | sewpermike | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | Intoxicated Dad | 52% | 90 |
| #5 | Csb2015 | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Galaxy | 31 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Devil Cat | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Marcus Halberstram | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | lucas | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Csb2015 | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Csb2015 | +0.95 | 55 | 58 |
| #2 | sewpermike | +0.66 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Roy💮 | +0.62 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | Intoxicated Dad | +0.60 | 77 | 35 |
| #5 | Devil Cat | +0.03 | 43 | 66 |





