








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1041 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3818 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6205 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3998 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5378 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4437 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,476,271 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 651 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaiN | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | Jack Spearow | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | Djoens | 53% | 205 |
| #5 | tiCal | 51% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | Jack Spearow | 54% | 63 |
| #4 | Djoens | 53% | 205 |
| #5 | tiCal | 51% | 166 |
| #6 | ilmo01 | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Djoens | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | tiCal | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jack Spearow | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ilmo01 | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Djoens | 869 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #2 | tiCal | 206 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 181 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | PaiN | 100 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | ilmo01 | 57 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MagicZz | +1.19 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | Djoens | +0.82 | 68 | 76 |
| #3 | PaiN | +0.60 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | tiCal | -0.84 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Jack Spearow | -1.23 | 73 | 53 |





