








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 889 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5958 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4936 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4413 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3582 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,374,280 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaiN | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | tiCal | 58% | 238 |
| #3 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 54% | 81 |
| #4 | Jack Spearow | 53% | 109 |
| #5 | MagicZz | 53% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaiN | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | tiCal | 58% | 238 |
| #3 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 54% | 81 |
| #4 | Jack Spearow | 53% | 109 |
| #5 | MagicZz | 53% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiCal | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | MagicZz | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jack Spearow | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MagicZz | 848 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | tiCal | 268 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 233 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | PaiN | 137 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jack Spearow | 86 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MagicZz | +1.62 | 67 | 77 |
| #2 | Djoens | +1.32 | 71 | 76 |
| #3 | PaiN | +0.55 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | tiCal | -0.63 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | Jack Spearow | -1.19 | 77 | 49 |





