










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 476 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 120 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6221 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8013 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6936 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4935 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,944,584 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 56% | 141 |
| #2 | El Brappo Chapo | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | michael cera | 47% | 405 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 56% | 141 |
| #2 | El Brappo Chapo | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | michael cera | 47% | 405 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michael cera | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | El Brappo Chapo | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michael cera | 1118 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | 544 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | El Brappo Chapo | 200 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kesch ︻デ 一 | +1.04 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | El Brappo Chapo | +0.35 | 53 | 66 |
| #3 | ilmo01 | -0.08 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | michael cera | -0.61 | 39 | 59 |





