








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1428 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2315 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2758 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1967 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,370,900 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nAsty | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | jasonlee42 | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | ph17 | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | sk | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | Monst3rrrr. | 58% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | chris | 48% | 42 |
| #18 | CruZ | 45% | 86 |
| #19 | †jNs† | 45% | 42 |
| #20 | PENDRAGON | 44% | 41 |
| #21 | Gigelicious | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moww | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FoxSin KuzanOo | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | CruZ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Gigelicious | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | krass?! CanTwo [!?] | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papa 2rzo | +2.46 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | +w | smu | +2.25 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | jasonlee42 | +2.08 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | †jNs† | +1.51 | 88 | 67 |
| #5 | sk | +1.48 | 78 | 62 |





