








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3064 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2518 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1623 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1830 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,040 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | steviano | 59% | 88 |
| #7 | woah | 59% | 41 |
| #8 | never lucky | 58% | 101 |
| #9 | kyi | 53% | 19 |
| #10 | donut appreciator | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | never lucky | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | glizzy | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | viral | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | steviano | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | isaac- | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | never lucky | 269 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | steviano | 192 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | glizzy | 175 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | woah | 170 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | isaac- | 165 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tehk_ | +2.85 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | Mr. Al Fredo | +2.18 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | glizzy | +1.25 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | isaac- | +0.89 | 83 | 63 |
| #5 | steviano | +0.25 | 66 | 64 |





