










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1875 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Faceit | 231 matches | ||
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,724 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10289 | 31% |
| Smokes | 10349 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5336 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7750 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,216,090 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2696 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Al Fredo | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | steviano | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | isaac- | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | KennyASS | 54% | 71 |
| #5 | drtyfruit | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | THEEGREATBAMB | 47% | 196 |
| #11 | Plorping it | 45% | 99 |
| #12 | Trouper-33 | 42% | 104 |
| #13 | ^2ArchticStyx | 42% | 308 |
| #14 | BangBngOneil | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HD | 23 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | ^2ArchticStyx | 21 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Trouper-33 | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | THEEGREATBAMB | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | isaac- | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THEEGREATBAMB | 692 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | ^2ArchticStyx | 632 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | JMD | 451 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | HD | 279 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Qorbone | 235 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woah | +2.40 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | Mr. Al Fredo | +2.03 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | JMD | +1.27 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | HD | +1.27 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | isaac- | +1.10 | 84 | 58 |





