








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3245 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2806 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1739 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2663 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,621 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Al Fredo | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | isaac- | 66% | 32 |
| #3 | jacques de gatineau | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Vellum | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | steviano | 53% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | steviano | 53% | 89 |
| #6 | glizzy | 52% | 82 |
| #7 | jawa2602 | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | Emopi | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | kyi | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glizzy | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | steviano | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Mr. Al Fredo | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Vellum | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | jacques de gatineau | 2 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | glizzy | 189 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | steviano | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | isaac- | 82 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr. Al Fredo | 70 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vellum | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vellum | +2.35 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Mr. Al Fredo | +2.29 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | isaac- | +0.61 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | glizzy | +0.44 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | viral | +0.26 | 82 | 73 |





