








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1509 | 35% |
| Smokes | 993 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1013 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 793 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,514 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lörde | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | M4rkula | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | mYnniPusu | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Simplanssi | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | ShububS HubbaS | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Työtön | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | rzee | 38% | 16 |
| #9 | Colaha | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | Robenzio | 32% | 19 |
| #11 | Pabl0 | 13% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShububS HubbaS | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | M4rkula | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | lörde | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Robenzio | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | rzee | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShububS HubbaS | 65 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Simplanssi | 54 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Robenzio | 50 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Colaha | 35 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pabl0 | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colaha | +2.35 | 70 | 61 |
| #2 | rzee | +1.32 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | Simplanssi | +1.31 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | lörde | +1.08 | 53 | 53 |
| #5 | Työtön | +0.48 | 58 | 59 |





