








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 87 | 23% |
| Smokes | 89 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 96 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,941 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubbo | 44% | 18 |
| #2 | ShububS HubbaS | 39% | 23 |
| #3 | lörde | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | M4rkula | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Osti | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubbo | 44% | 18 |
| #2 | ShububS HubbaS | 39% | 23 |
| #3 | lörde | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | M4rkula | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Osti | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lörde | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | M4rkula | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubbo | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | ShububS HubbaS | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | lörde | 14 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | M4rkula | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Osti | 9 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nubbo | +1.22 | 56 | 63 |
| #2 | PiiJay | -0.36 | 79 | 40 |
| #3 | Osti | -0.43 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | lörde | -0.98 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | ShububS HubbaS | -1.36 | 48 | 53 |





