








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1402 | 30% |
| Smokes | 921 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1253 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1071 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,097 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0 impact | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Kairo | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | crouchp33k | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Simplanssi | 46% | 117 |
| #5 | Wuppa | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | rzee | 34% | 29 |
| #11 | sphiNx | 33% | 43 |
| #12 | Nubbo | 32% | 19 |
| #13 | Pabl0 | 26% | 19 |
| #14 | Tsikkenlord | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simplanssi | 189 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | BOT NÄNNIPIHAN KEISARI | 134 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Colaha | 124 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | E2 | 101 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | crouchp33k | 95 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuppa | +3.17 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Colaha | +1.83 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Kairo | +1.38 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | E2 | +0.67 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | rzee | +0.30 | 74 | 61 |





