








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3408 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2637 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4899 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 925 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,224 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Azh0gg | 54% | 245 |
| #2 | Meeskuzh | 54% | 194 |
| #3 | Sharkhi | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | Ryckless ツ | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Sicilia_^ | 52% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ryckless ツ | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Sicilia_^ | 52% | 97 |
| #6 | Danavans | 51% | 234 |
| #7 | ♡ギガ- 98 ᵖᵉᵃᵏ | 38% | 52 |
| #8 | KsDruido | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Azh0gg | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Danavans | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Meeskuzh | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Sharkhi | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Ryckless ツ | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Azh0gg | 771 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | Meeskuzh | 532 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Sharkhi | 434 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sicilia_^ | 201 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♡ギガ- 98 ᵖᵉᵃᵏ | 176 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Azh0gg | +2.41 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Sharkhi | +1.62 | 56 | 75 |
| #3 | Ryckless ツ | +1.34 | 54 | 69 |
| #4 | Meeskuzh | +0.31 | 74 | 73 |
| #5 | Danavans | +0.12 | 55 | 56 |





