








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1615 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2413 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2278 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1895 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,932 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big red | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | jaaacko | 68% | 47 |
| #3 | CHEFZUCC | 62% | 68 |
| #4 | Coldtits@wup | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | JuGGeR | 55% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jaaacko | 68% | 47 |
| #3 | CHEFZUCC | 62% | 68 |
| #4 | Coldtits@wup | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | JuGGeR | 55% | 124 |
| #6 | flash | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | JuGGeR | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | jaaacko | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | 149 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | jaaacko | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | JuGGeR | 77 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Coldtits@wup | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | flash | 35 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaaacko | +4.70 | 69 | 76 |
| #2 | CHEFZUCC | +3.48 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | JuGGeR | +2.16 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | The BabaBingo'd | -1.30 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | flash | -2.06 | 46 | 79 |





