








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1228 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1462 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1318 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 606 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,496 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | jaaacko | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | The BabaBingo'd | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | JuGGeR | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | jaaacko | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | The BabaBingo'd | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | JuGGeR | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | The BabaBingo'd | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | jaaacko | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaaacko | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | CHEFZUCC | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | The BabaBingo'd | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | JuGGeR | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEFZUCC | +5.33 | 64 | 65 |
| #2 | jaaacko | +4.87 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | JuGGeR | +2.11 | 78 | 41 |
| #4 | The BabaBingo'd | -1.25 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | Coldtits@wup | -2.20 | 44 | 72 |





